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About Traditional Art / Student Core Member Dylan Carbonell23/Male/United States Group :iconlooney-girls: Looney-Girls
 
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Deviant for 4 Years
3 Month Core Membership
Statistics 235 Deviations 6,329 Comments 104,613 Pageviews
Yeah, I admit it.

At some point down the road, I plan to leave deviantArt, and this time, I'm not coming back. :( It has nothing to do with any of the people here, don't worry, it's just I've been losing enthusiasm for the site itself over time, I haven't really been accomplishing here what I've set out to accomplish, I haven't even improved myself all that much. And the thing is, I'm not really proud of my accounts on other sites either like Tumblr, or Facebook or any of that stuff. I've made them all with the thought that I could use them as a playing field to express my artistry and create projects to help me get where I wanna go, but I've done nothing on them but procrastinate endlessly and fail to go through with anything I've promised.

Now granted, I've been living in LA all year, I've been adjusting to my new surroundings, really honing my craft at my vocational program and making lots of artistic accomplishments there, and I'm trying to better myself in the process. But nothing I've done on the internet has really reflected that, I've actually been keeping most of you guys in the shadows from it and mostly just showered you with all my more negative qualities.

So I've been thinking "Well, maybe I should not just leave deviantArt, but should shut down every account I have on the internet altogether, and then start a new web persona". And I have been giving it a lot of thought, I've been considering having 2 accounts on every site, 1 would be a personal account for mostly blog purposes and sketch dumps and stuff like that, and the other would be a more professional account for my Kombeenanvus Kartoons company, where I would post my animations, my short films, and my finalized official art pieces. :)

But then THIS thought suddenly hit me. 

This isn't the first time I've done something like this! You see, I've had 2 other accounts here, and I hate them both. I've made so many bad decisions, exposed so many embarrassingly bad ideas, whined and complained about so many things, I've been insufferably rude to people who did nothing wrong simply because they said something that annoyed me slightly, and like a douche I picked fights with people simply for not agreeing with me. And both times I've started new accounts I've been like "Well, I can just erase the past and reinvent myself, right?" Well not only was it stupid to assume I could erase the past, but I didn't even really reinvent myself. X_x I've still been that same pathetic, embittered, procrastinating asshole who spends more time complaining than he does actually doing anything productive.

So I'm now thinking "If I shut down all my internet accounts, and start new ones again, what the fuck's gonna change?" Seriously, I have nothing to prove to you guys that my "Fresh start" could truly be a fresh start. Fuck, I have nothing to prove to myself that I'm not gonna go back to square 1 and just repeat a pattern. That same pattern of going nowhere with my immaturity, bitterness, patheticness and failure to ever go through with anything I promise! :(

So you know what I'm thinking now? I don't need to simply leave deviantArt, I need to get away from the internet as a whole. Now I'm not getting away from the internet forever, but, I'm getting away until I can actually be ready to make a change, until I prepare my "fresh start", have something to show for all those new accounts I promised. If I truly want to reinvent myself, well, I need to really develop my reinvention before I do anything else. But until I can truly be prepared, I think I'll just have to lay low for a while.

You don't have to worry about me, I'll still talk to my friends over PM or email or whatever, but, both this account, and all my other existing accounts will probably be shut down at some point in the somewhat distant future. But, when I feel I'm ready, and I actually have something to present, I will be back! Not on DeviantArt, but I will be back on the other sites with the new accounts I mentioned, but only when I actually have something prepared for them.

In other words...

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:iconabbinurmel:
Abbinurmel Featured By Owner Edited 4 hours ago
I suppose you're long gone by now. But i loved your comments and I wish you the best. Your latest journal entry is quite relatable. I sometimes wonder if it would be worthwhile to go back to all my art pages/old accounts and try deleting them, so my old embarassing rants and nonsense and complaints and damning opinions could be erased from history?

You know what I have realized is simply that nobody probably will notice or care, be it from a professional or personal standpoint. If you were the kind of person to SOMHOW manage to stumble upon me on DA or take a view at my ancient accounts on say livejournal and base that entirely alone as your summation of me, then you're not really a professional or someone likely worth considering the opinion of in the first place too seriously. It is gonna ultimately be your choice what people see when you apply for a job and all directors/artists know that we come from ridiculous, less talented backgrounds where we have to learn and grow and mature to what we hopefully have improved into today.

The only real regrettable thing one might wish to censor from their internet blog past, is if they had said any truly rude, mean things of bigoted nature or threatened criminally someone's actual life or privacy, in which yes, you should do the right thing (outside apologizing obviously and/or leaving that person the heck alone) and take those mean things down so people do not continue to use that against you, or mistake them for current present day opinions. Because employers WILL take a negative attitude into account.

...But does distancing yourself from the internet wholly give you the chance to change yourself, when/if you return? This is a question I have no answer for.  I have made 'do over' accounts all the time and so have lots and lots of people. Do we ever REALLY change at heart though?...overall, I do not think so, not without hard lots of effort. I think we in these newer generations over-read into our 'online persona's and 'identities' a lot more than we (usually) have to. Fame is relative and our followers, even if they number in the 1000s, tend not to dwell very hard in thought on who the real person we are IS. Not unless they are obsessed and deranged, or we place ourselves so high on a pedastal of glory that we are doomed to crash from the getgo anyway.

Being away from the internet though, I DO guarantee you, will be a healthy experience for you. This isn't me being a Luddite. It's just good to get away from simply caring what are other's opinions of you. Just focusing on you and your immediate needs and real life.
There is plenty of beauty around you. You don't have to force yourself to gorge on other's thoughts, when you don't want them intruding into your headspace.
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:iconunderrenovations:
UnderRenovations Featured By Owner 4 hours ago  Student Traditional Artist
Hi. I'm right here. And I'm honestly touched by this comment you left. :) I've always loved your analytical stuff and always felt you had very interesting and insightful things to say about media. I always enjoyed reading any discussion you brought up because you actually gave me something think about rather than simply making fun of easy targets, or having an opinion I did or didn't agree with. That's why I liked discussing things with you because you often had interesting responses. While I do intend to deactivate this account fairly soon, I'll still have fond memories of your analysis.

And yeah, I definitely see where you're coming from on problems of outside life. I often worry a lot about things I've done in the past, because at certain points in my life I feel like I was a genuine asshole. But instead of worrying about who I was, maybe I should be focusing who I am now. And truth be told, I'm actually doing okay in my outside life. There are still tons of things that are stressing me out, and I still have my emotional issues I'm working through, I'm refining my art, I'm getting more experimental with animation techniques, oh, and I've even got an internship at Nickelodeon this summer. I'll be interning on The Loud House, which I have yet to watch but it does seem quite charming from what I can tell, and with what a success it is for Nick at the moment it could be good to put on my resume. 

But thank you so much for the well wishes. There is so much I wanna do in the future, and I'm doing everything I can to make that future a reality. I will miss talking to you, and when I deactivate my account, maybe our paths will cross again, maybe they won't. But for now, I bid you a fond farewell. :)
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:iconplcthecd:
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2017  Hobbyist Writer

I shall drink to your health on your birthday!

:beer::drunk::iconbudweiserplz::iconwineplz::iconpintplz::iconwhiskeyplz::iconmargaritaplz::iconjackdanielsplz::iconchampagneplz::iconmartiniplz::iconheinekenplz:::iconrumplz::icondrunkplz:

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:iconmabmb1987:
mabmb1987 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Happy Birthday!
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:iconvyletsalterego:
VyletsAlterEgo Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Happy Birthday, dude! :cake: :party: :w00t:
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:iconsharperofthefew:
sharperofthefew Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
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:iconntaylor24:
ntaylor24 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2016
Hello, Dylan! 

I want to say, thanks for showing us your art, passion and yourself. I know you feel like you are pretentious, but I think it's okay!
I feel most of us have been at the moment where we feel like a "jerk", but to me, it's just us trying to accomplish what feel belongs to us by fighting obstacles that are holding us from doing so. 

To me, Dylan, you proved that to me. I even got some ideas to think about from hearing from your topics and opinions on the world that envelopes around us. So, you had moments (at least, that's what you think) you feel like an "asshole", but you became aware of what you say and realize your own words, believe me, I have been there, all the time.

Behind yourself, you're showing us that you are a believer. You do what you feel of what's in your heart and rip it out good to impress the people around you. 

But if DeviantArt, and the other websites are giving you trouble with your thinking process, I want to wish you greatest luck that you will need! 

Keep making art, follow your beliefs, embrace your supporters & find out what you're great at! Because, you were influenced by the people you love, I guarantee someone out there, will learn advice and inspiration from you! I'm gonna miss you, thanks for your time you given us!

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:iconunderrenovations:
UnderRenovations Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much. :hug: I've got plans I'm working on, so thanks for the well wishes. 
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:iconntaylor24:
ntaylor24 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2016
You are welcome, you really needed it! Hug ;) (Wink) Good Luck 
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:iconmartisilent:
MartiSilent Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2016  Student Filmographer
Thanks so much for favoriting my fan art of Pearl! :heart:
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:icondennisnotthemenace:
DennisNotTheMenace Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fave. :)
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:iconcartoonystuff:
CartoonyStuff Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2016  Student Digital Artist
thanks for the fave!
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:iconcartoonystuff:
CartoonyStuff Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!!
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:iconvoltronz1:
VoltronZ1 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2016  Student Writer
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCylGd…

Heh, a catchy remix AND a heartwarming tribute to a candy brand. Go go, marketing team.
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:iconvoltronz1:
VoltronZ1 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2016  Student Writer
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuMKPK…

Okay, NOW they definitely should make a classic arcade style beat 'em up game.
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:iconmaxvision92:
maxvision92 Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, just dropping a line to see if you're still alive. Since we haven't really spoken in... a long time. I missed you.
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:iconunderrenovations:
UnderRenovations Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Sorry I haven't been around much lately. Been busy. 
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:iconmaxvision92:
maxvision92 Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, doing what? You got me intrigued now.
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:iconunderrenovations:
UnderRenovations Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Oh no it's nothing big right now, I'm just working my ass off through my first year and still adjusting to my new home. A lot has been going through my head lately so there are certain decisions I might make in the future. 
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(1 Reply)
:iconbillyirken:
BillyIrken Featured By Owner Edited May 16, 2016
youtu.be/goU0G4kIAzc

This is kind of how I pictured she would react. 
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:iconunderrenovations:
UnderRenovations Featured By Owner May 16, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
I don't blame you Judy. 
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:iconlittlestlightshop:
littlestlightshop Featured By Owner May 15, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconunderrenovations:
UnderRenovations Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Man I love this movie!!! I wish this could get a rerelease from the cult following it got like Iron Giant did
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:iconvoltronz1:
VoltronZ1 Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Student Writer
It will probably will. If Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Star Wars and even Purple Rain can get theirs, so can this.
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